Oops Strikes Again!

My lovely daughter awoke Saturday morning with a whiny, tired tone.  After about 30 minutes of this nonsense, I announced that was ENOUGH.  She needed to stop with the silly business and get dressed for our kid photo session in 45 minutes.  She promptly threw up.

Oops.  I bow my head in mommy shame.

I guess we all get wrapped up in our schedules, routines and whatnot.  Kid chatter becomes background static noise.  I, personally, hear only static until I can get two cups of java down every morning.  This was my reminder to slow down and listen to my kids.  Stop what I’m doing, look them in the eye and have a genuine moment.  After all, that’s what I want from other people.  Kids count, too.

My other stellar mommy challenge:  My.  House.  Is.  A.  Clutterfest.

This summer, I just can’t find a balance between taking care of the outside stuff and keeping the inside stuff in order.  School journals still sit on my washer from last school year.  3 partially complete knitting projects keep that company and I think I lost several knitting needles to the dark depths behind the washer.  There is too much STUFF here and there.  I feel the itch of simplifying it all.  Donate.  Send it to a garage sale.  Recycle.  My one obstacle is that I must carry out this mission during kid off-hours.  Meaning, they MUST be elsewhere or they will notice just how much they looovvveeedddd that stuffed rabbit that sat under their bed for a year.  Luckily, school is just around the corner, when I can roll up my sleeves and carry out my secret mission.

For now, I can work at having more genuine moments with my kids.  DAILY.  They grow up so fast, I don’t want to miss a minute.

2007DogDaysSummer

Plans B or C

It’s August.  My friends are suddenly restless.  A new school year approaches.  Specifically, the youngest of our broods will join KINDERGARTEN.  What is Plan B after ALL of our kids are in school?  Do we want to go back to school?  Do we want to find work?  I admit I have not given it a single thought for two years.  Being crazy in love with my life void of salary, I only worry about daily stuff:  aka My Plan B.  The cleaning, the errands, the pet maintenance, homework monitoring, different school start/stop times, different kid sports start/stop times, playdates, did the garden get watered and what’s for dinner…. that is my tunnel vision.  It is blissfully chaotic and more rewarding than ever.

My Plan B has aged like fine wine.  I wanted to be happy (no more commute).  I wanted to do things that matter to me (no more dropping my kids off at a daycare for 12 hours).  I wanted to embrace life (feed my spirit without triple lattes to hold me up) and I wanted to make a positive impact (beginning with a break from soul-sucking job haters).  Every morning, I taste a sweeter satisfaction with my life.  It doesn’t matter that I’m scrubbing toilets and cleaning up lizard poop.  My family is happy with me.  I am happy with me.  Plan B has worked out very well.

Is it really time to spark Plan C?

I have a vision board.  Simply put, I attached pictures of things that made me happy onto a piece of poster paper.  How did I envision my life?  What feels happy and peaceful?  What was important to me?  I stared at this board for a full year back in 2009.  Then, it fell behind my dresser. Since this Plan C business started tugging at my pant leg, I wrenched it the board back out into civilization.  Now, I stand and stare it.  Now, it’s my desktop wallpaper.  The more I visualize it…the more sense I have about making them apart of my life.

My Vision Board

You know what?  I’m tickled to report that many of these ideas are a part of my life now.  Others are planned.  Others scare the heck out of me.  For now, I’m going to add to it.  Stare at it some more.  Tackle it again when it feels right.  I like living my “now.”  I am not restless.

Hey, check out our living “now” over the last week.  We made miniature gardens, fixed and ugly problem and enjoyed some treats!

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‘Duh’ and people I judge on a daily basis.

I’m sitting here eating a microwaved egg roll wrapped in a greasy paper towel. 

It isn’t a high point.  I don’t feel like cooking.  I am grounded.  Meaning that I am supposed to stay inside.  I’ve had an ‘odd’ ailment over the last few days:  muscle aches, cramps, dizziness, fatigue, nausea, diarrhea and a scratchy throat I called ‘lusty’).  My doctor took one look at me and proclaimed “obvious” heat exhaustion.  Huh.  Really?

And then DUH.  When did the problems start?  Hmm, heated yoga.  mowing last Sunday.  6 hours at two outdoor BBQs.  beach.  bicycling across my great city and hauling dirt.  What have you eaten today?  That would be an ice cream thing at the pool – dairy and a complex carb, I told myself).  What have you been drinking?  Water.  But it was makes me sick, so I chase it with cold coffee.  Come to think of it, that made me sick, too.  

DUH.  My husband will tell you that I’m stubborn.  I don’t like to stay inactive.  I also don’t like asking for help.  I don’t want to wait an entire day just to ask my husband to do something, especially after his own long day at the office.   So I get out and plan it/do it/buy it on my own.  When my body gets me down, I get mad.  I generally get out and plan it/do it/buy it/SWEAT it out of my pores.  Perhaps not choice in this MN heat. 

So, I am now sitting here.  Eating my second microwaved egg roll.  Don’t you judge me.  (I mean it!)

You know you all do it to some degree.  No matter HOW good of person you strive to be…. there is a moment in time where you harbor a teensy-tiny bit of judgement about other people’s choices/actions/behavior or dare-I-say looks.  One might pleasantly slap on a sugar-label like “people watching.”  Or “an unwavering commitment to conservative values”  (wink, wink Ms. Bachman).  I like to call it “what the huh?”  It’s not meant to carry any weight or impact other people’s personal lives.  Simply put.  What the huh?  There is PLENTY of what the huh? out there….yes, in the ‘ole office days…but especially at the local public pool.  Now let me be the first to say that I do NOT have the body of a goddess.  Nope, I have all the 30-something-gettingcloseto40-something-stretchmarks-littlesag-babygrowinghips-legsthatwon’ttan glory all in this sweet little package.  However.  I don’t strap on string bikinis that MAY have fit in pre-K years. (ooo, bad thought and I’m not just talking about women).  So as I lay on my plastic beach chair, hidden behind sunglasses…. I judged today.  I couldn’t help it.  Ms. Pink Bikini Holding Jimmy John’s Cup actually looked happy and lovely as she meanders around the kiddie area.  (literally she couldn’t walk in straight line over 90 minutes, but she was happy.  wait.  what the huh?).  Then there is Lady Who Sits On Own Portable Stool and Barks at Children.  (still not sure if they are hers-what the huh?).  When she does decides to amble into the pool…yikes.  Do some people live in denial?  Do they think they look glamorous?  The extra EXTRA derriere footage?  The barely legal triangles pasted onto her string top that droops to her midriff?  That’s in?  Or are they livin’ the L.I.F.E. without a care about you or me or half of my village think?  Okay.  All the more power to them.  (I am a good person, I am a good person).  Girl power!  (I am a good person).  But still…

Well, so be it.  To each his own.  I stop staring.  (Well, actually I just keep staring behind my sunglasses).  But I stop judging.  What can I say?  I am but a mere mortal (ode to my sister-in-law).  I honestly want people to feel good about themselves.  Bring on the spice of life….just leave the man-kinis at home. 

Sweet Days of Summer

Well, hello.  Yes, it’s been awhile. 

Sooooo much has happened in the last few months!  I had a little health issue that I continue to manage (boring subject).  School days and volunteering swept the spring/summer season into a busy circus.  AND our family flew to our nation’s capital…a perfect family bonding time (think walking, walking, walking and potty breaks). 

5th Grade Graduation

I have taken an entirely different approach to the summer season.  No camps for the kids (ok, well maybe ONE and baseball).  Instead, we make our own fun and get a season pass to the pool.  Simple right?  Sure, unless you have a mom who wants to keep a clean house and pretty yard.  In the midst of my digging and primping and mowing and trimming….I have 3 kids who dared to project those words of doom:  I’M BORED.  And it doesn’t even come out like that.  It’s more of the piercing sound:  I’M BOOOORRREEEDD.  The whine that makes my ears hurt.  WHAT CAN I DOOOOOOOO? 

Read a book.  Make a crossword.  Clean your room.  (hey, I try).  Ride your bike.  Build a fort.  Help me clean. (yes, I had to sneak that in).  Draw a picture.  Play a game.  Chalk up the driveway.  Play Nerf target practice.  Basketball.  Skateboard.  Roll.  Down.  A.  HILL. 

Generally, I just receive a blank face or a “bored” moan in response.  Well kudos to Zoey, who never disappoints as she skips away with new ideas.  But those boys……

Then, I received some fantastic parenting advice.  Make THEM do the work/thinking.  Ex:  Well, do you feel like doing something inside our outside?  (Child response).  Cool.  Do you have a lot of energy or just need to relax?  (Child response and then a pause).  Hmmmm…. (I’m thinking with them).  Suddenly, they are off with a new idea of their own.  Which makes it a COOL idea.  Works every time for me.  YES!

Well, I wanted to say hi and let you know (that means YOU, Mom) that I plan to get this blog back in action.  Summer fun awaits! 

5th Grade Graduation

Drama Tween

Tweens.  I have one.  Actually, I think his tween cooties have begun to infect his younger brother.  I may have TWO.

Still my loving, mama-respecting boys…..they show glimpses of tween cootie inhabitants.  Plugged into iPods with closed bedroom doors, DRAMA and a little bit of sass.  What happens when I ask my son to move his homework station out of the room where his siblings are watching TV (“mom, they are BOTHERING me!”)?  A dramatic sweep of the books, 3 minutes of contorted complaints as he tries to get ‘comfortable’ in another room….and eventually a grand finale:  10 minutes of hideous wailing in his room because I just made his day “the worst day in his life EVER!”

Because I asked him to move.

Sigh.  What’s a mother to do?  Just keep loving.  I try very, very hard not to raise my own voice because it just makes things worse.  My success rate is about 60 percent.  But I just keep loving and supporting.  He’s growing and fighting hormone junk…..my quietness almost always yields a sniffly “sorry, Mom” after the drama ceases.

Still, I wonder how the heck I’ll survive when teenagers inhabit my house.  Oy.  At least I know many moms and dads who will be going through it to. 

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Bill Cosby 
 

LOKAH SAMASTA SUKHINO BHAVANTU

I looooooove me some yoga.  It’s not just a physical workout, but a mental cleansing and spiritual upliftment.  Really, it rocks.  I love it so much, I set aside a considerable amount of my monthly ‘allowance’ to attend a local yoga studio.  When I’m there, it’s my time.  It’s positive energy.  Oddly, it’s also a relaxing time, even though I drip sweat through rigorous poses.  This ’ole given-life-to-three-kids-body feels stronger and normal aches and pains are replaced with “yes, that was an awesome workout” pain.  Yes, I love me some yoga.

 

I also love that both men and women, young and old, are sweating through the same yoga flow.  The space is ‘generally’ judgement-free, but I can’t help but find that it can also be entertaining.  Bikini Man is spotted from time to time (front and center).

I can't even do this one, yet!

 

Bikini Man (reenacted)

Woman With The See-Through Tank That Barely Holds The Silicone In also jumps in the front row from time to time.  Then there is John, a fellow yogi who enjoys the crunch of Minnesota snow.  And Marcie, a friend who has very little hearing in one ear, but always hears my whispers (like, “Look!  There’s Bikini Man!)

I CAN get this far though. (reenactment – do you really think I’d share a personal spandex photo with the world?)

Humor aside, THIS is what I love to think about as I work out:  (ORAL TRADITION) LOKAH SAMASTA SUKHINO BHAVANTU
May all beings everywhere be happy and free and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.

This is the mantra of Yoga, chanted in almost every class.  By giving voice to it, we set the intention to create a world that is harmonious and peaceful.  This is my mantra that I love to exercise every day – not just as a new year’s resolution. 

If you have a yoga studio near you, try it out!  You just might love it.  Namaste.

I had a title, but I forgot it.

Although completely overwhelmed earlier, I spent the last hour picking up STUFF.  Holiday stuff and gees….even birthday stuff that should have gone away before the holiday stuff.  You know why I felt the energetic whim to clean like a type-A mama?  Because I had 2 full hours of my very own video game time.  I’m not kidding.  My eyes are now crossed from staring at such a tiny iPhone screen.  My head kind of hurts and I did ignore a persistent need to drink water during this ‘vacation’.  The irony is that I found a game where I have to work as fast as I can.  No kidding.  I’m addicted.  I don’t even remember the name of it (and I won’t check because I’ll start playing again).  The goal is to waitress as fast as I can to gain more customers (and thus, more money).  Now, I’ve never been a waitress but this was F.U.N.  Why I had to clean and serve others in my time off is beyond me, but I bravely walked away from that train wreck (okay, I wore the battery down to 5%) and CLEANED my house.  It’s like my very own strategic boot camp for cleaning and organizing.  Actually, it’s kind of like my every day……  My game candy just buried itself in my consciousness, compelling a plan of attack that I couldn’t find before. 

That’s ok. 

I have a clean house. 

And the battery is just about charged again.  =)

Anyhoo, I started today’s blog to share one of my favorite parts of the holiday season.  A close circle of peeps exchanged a homemade item for Christmas.  We didn’t tell each other what the item was until the exchange.  Our execution was a little off (never plan an exchange just days before Christmas)…..but the homemade side of the exchange made it extra special.  Fresh ricotta cheese, a luscious Irish cream beverage, m&m cookies, savvy beverage coasters, cranberry chutney and SOON (hint intended) canned pickles made for smiles all around.  Isn’t that interesting?  Out of ALL the money spent and ALL the wrapping and ALL the mailing…. I loved this the most.  AND several of these peeps knit with me weekly.  That once-a-week connection inspired me to knit my children a whimsical gift for Christmas.  I need to do it more.  I already have a plan for next year.  And it’s going to be my goal in this new year – making more homemade goodness.   Note: cookies and ricotta were consumed before photos.  Oops. 

With that, I leave you with my a saying from my favorite new 2011 calendar:  Grateful for this life, full of family, friends and love.  Happy New Year!

Winter Bliss and a Rebel named Mom

Ahhhh, the winter hibernation mode is upon me.  While other people enjoy sunshine, I love a cloudy cold day…complete with wintery goodies, a phenomenal book and a warm fire.  Even holiday shopping doesn’t pull me far away from the house.  Online shopping is my pleasure, especially since I’ve nailed down favorite, reputable sites.  My absolute favorite:  www.etsy.com.  Handmade, unique treasures await my purchase.  Like walking through a mega arts festival, except I have a cup of hot cocoa and warm slippers complimenting my shopping experience.

I even hosted Z’s birthday party right here in our home.  Crazy, messy fun all around…but there is something fulfilling about making a homemade cake and enjoying it with a few friends at home.  It was my own private rebellion against the multitude of mega-entertainment parties everyone throws these days.  Not that I’m judging – to each his own.  I just can’t stand the money spent, the loud chaos and the generic birthday feeling (“your party is at table #4) involved.  Yes, the kids love it.  But I think parents – myself included – can mentally overdo the birthday experience.  After hours of debate involving Z’s first friend party and location…I exhaustedly asked her if a home party is ok.  She jumped, skipped, twirled, laughed and cheered a resounding, “That sounds awesome!!!!”  A humbling reminder to me.

Oh, I have to mention our new family member:  Stormy.  Named by the birthday girl, she’s our 7 mth old domestic short hair kitty cat.  A true love bug with just the right dash of personality.  Another reason to enjoy home on these winter days……

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I wish you a gingerbread cookies…family and friends….curl up with a good book December …. stay toasty.

No Excuses

Oy, yoy, yoy.

It seems that I’ve been on “blog vacation” during the last few months.  You know, too much thinking can mentally exhaust oneself.  During these months, I’ve simplified my thought patterns:  One thing at a time.  Keep it simple.  Be present.  Breathe (that would be my yoga). 

No, I have not been watching re-runs of Oprah.  I just happen to catch myself jumping around like a crazy woman.  I notice.  I adjust.  After all, “crazy woman” activity isn’t something that makes a household purr, you know?

I had the notion to return to blogging just yesterday.  ‘Tis the season for children to ask, “..but how long is it until we can open presents?”  Huh.  I swear to you…..we work hard to instill a sense of giving and service in our children.  As a matter of fact, I believe they take joy in giving  (once I pry them away from video games or wrestling matches).  It’s just that they can forget, too.  Those presents are so darn distracting, right? 

Yesssss…….. so I felt it necessary to discuss the spirit of the season at our dinner table.  I also challenged everyone:  we agreed to target 12 days of random acts of kindness.  We would share them every night.  The initial sharing session excited some who remembered they HAD carried out an act of kindness that day… to mortifying others (remaining nameless) who chewed on the fact they couldn’t remember a single act of kindness.  Ouch.  Sound cheesy?  Well, I beg to differ.  This has been EXCEPTIONAL and we are on just day 4 of this family adventure.  

I don’t want to go on about our personal kindness escapades, but I will say one thing.  A stranger’s startled smile sticks with me.   My kids are quick to help out.  We are more pleasant around each other.  Best of all, my husband WASHED ALL THE DISHES and pre-made the morning coffee!  Absolutely acceptable. 

Today we decided to pay for a stranger’s order (car behind us us at a drive-thru window.)  The kids were instantly excited with a resounding, “random act of kindness!!!”  Big grins.  Satisfied mom.  They like it.  They get it.  I hope they carry it forward.  Goodness knows I don’t feel like being kind some days.  But those kids just lift me up.  And that’s why I’m going to give them those presents.

Quiet Reads

Tonight, I curled into my sofa and read Zoey a story.   That story turned into another ….and another.  And yet another.  Soon, I was surrounded by all of my children.  They nestled around me like little puppies, eager to hear and see the pages.  When my voice grew scratchy, my son jumped right in.  Princesses, jewels and pirates possessed their imaginations.  Before I knew it, my husband settled near us and our beloved dog hugged my feet.  We were all there – no tv, no music, no “static.”  The moment left me so grateful.  In the hustle bustle of back-to-school, meetings and buzzing family life…this piece of time was a gift.  A greater realization hit me:  my children were hungry for it.  Of course, they hear their fair share of “just a minute” and “uh huh” or “not now, honey.”  Maybe more than their share.  Certainly, it’s not my intention….but this moment reminded me that paperwork, meal-planning and cleaning can wait.  I need to prioritize this quiet time for us. 

Tonight, I’m tired.  I’m keeping this one short.  I owe you an update on my parent advisory gig in the world of school food service.  And Z’s first day of preschool pic.  And lovely pics of our changing leaf colors.  See?  I have a list.  But first, I have Chapter 17 awaiting me on my bedside table.  Once you start reading, it’s hard to stop.